Store-bought lube is absolutely essential if you want to avoid tearing and general discomfort.
Yes, I'm talking about poop. It isn't an inevitability, but it's certainly a possibility , and that's OK. As we all learned from the trenchant children's book Everybody Poops , everybody poops. You just shouldn't eat, say, a Chipotle burrito with extra guac or a heaping plate of Indian curry right before you have sex.
And you should maybe take an extra minute to ensure you're all clean downstairs.
Some men even use a douche or enema beforehand to clean those hard-to-reach spots. It might not be super sexy, but it's better than the alternative. Gay sex isn't Nike: You can't just do it.
As I've mentioned, you have to think about things. What did you eat last night? How clean are you? Is there lube nearby? Anal is a bit more complicated and often more painful than vaginal sex. Therefore, gay men don't always have the luxury of getting it on at the drop of a hat.
Sometimes penetration isn't even in the cards. Maybe you don't really enjoy anal, or you have a medical issue like IBS. Or maybe you just don't feel like dealing with condoms, lube, and enemas. That's totally fine, because extended foreplay, oral sex, rimming, and mutual masturbation are all excellent alternatives. They're less complicated, more spontaneous, and can be just as pleasurable. Sure, a big penis might be nice to stroke or gaze at longingly.
But if the penis is too large, it's not fitting in the back door. Ain't nobody got time for that. It takes too much time to work up to it and stretch things out. Although, poppers -- a substance some gay men take to relax muscles to make anal sex easier -- can help with that issue.
An actual sentence someone said to me after I came out was this little gem: Years after the AIDS epidemic, there's still a pervasive misconception that gay sex is dirty and undoubtedly leads to STDs, which simply isn't true. Today, we even have PrEP: Oh, and it ought to go without saying, but if you're HIV-positive, this doesn't make you dirty or unbeautiful.
You can still have sex: We want to know if our partners are tops, bottoms, power bottoms, or versatile. These aren't just arbitrary labels. They help us figure out who's comfortable doing what -- and that, my friend, is sex-positive. Sharing your feelings might be the first step toward getting treatment. Gay men are more likely to experience body image problems and eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia nervosa, than are their straight counterparts.
One potential explanation is that, as a result of growing up with images of slender and effeminate gay men or men with muscular bodies, some gay and bisexual men worry excessively about their weight. If you're struggling with body image concerns or an eating disorder, get help. Talk to your doctor or a mental health provider about treatment options.
In the U.
If you have a substance abuse concern, remember that help is available. Local lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender health, mental health, or community centers often provide substance abuse treatment. Organizations such as the GLMA also might provide referrals. Domestic violence can affect anyone in an intimate relationship. Gay men might be more likely to stay silent about this kind of violence due to fear of discrimination and a lack of facilities designed to accommodate them.
Staying in an abusive relationship might leave you depressed, anxious or hopeless. If you don't want to disclose your sexual orientation, you might be less likely to seek help after an assault. Still, the only way to break the cycle of domestic violence is to take action — the sooner the better. If you're a target of domestic violence, tell someone about the abuse, whether it's a friend, loved one, health care provider or other close contact. Consider calling a domestic violence hotline and creating a plan to leave your abuser. Don't let fear of homophobia or the stigma associated with homosexuality prevent you from seeking routine health care.
Instead, take charge of your health. Look for a doctor who puts you at ease. Identify yourself as gay or bisexual, and ask about routine screenings recommended for men in your age group — such as blood pressure and cholesterol measurements and screenings for prostate, testicular and colon cancers. If you're not in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship, schedule regular screenings for sexually transmitted infections.
Share any other health concerns you might have with your doctor as well.
Early diagnosis and treatment help promote long-term health. Mayo Clinic does not endorse companies or products. Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission.
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The Biggest Myth About Gay Sex It's what Western culture would have you believe, too; ass-play has Some people aren't comfortable with the idea of anal penetration, or have tried it and found that it really isn't for them. Understand primary health concerns for gay men and men who have sex with men — and how to Mayo Clinic does not endorse companies or products.
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